As a native of western N.Y. (that means west of Buffalo, a.k.a the 10th "worst place to live in New York State"), I recognize both its majestic beauty and the dark evil lurking underneath. For all of its wondrous nature, lively ecosystems, and fresh air, it's a minefield of allergens, driving there is dangerous, and a lot of it is haunted (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, mind you).
But as popular a destination as upstate is for weary city-dwellers and New England travelers, preparing for the downsides can greatly enhance your trip. Read on, and the next time you venture to upstate N.Y. be sure to pack plenty of Claritin, drive carefully, and beware of vandals.
Deer
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No deer is Bambi. In fact, many deer act suicidal and will hurl themselves at your car. Deer, when spooked, tend to hurl themselves in one direction away from perceived danger. But despite having excellent peripheral vision and sharp eyesight at night, they're nearly blinded by light (hence the frozen "deer in the headlights" reaction). But mostly, male deer become very stupid when they're in a rut. Some believe that most deer collisions occur during mating season, when male deer are so blinded by hormones that they walk into traffic in search of their next conquest.
▲Nature (a.k.a. Allergies)
Upstate nature is gorgeous. The leaves are lush in the spring, change vibrant colors in the fall, and in the winter the pine trees look like a Thomas Kinkade painting. From the Hudson valley to state parks to literally dozens of nature centers, upstate is a beautiful destination for a temporary getaway from city life.
But if you're prone to any type of outdoor allergies, upstate New York will attack you. Allergies to grass, trees, mold, ragweed, or dust will be triggered everywhere. Have you ever taken a train upstate in the spring? It rains pollen. I'm not kidding; my window has been assaulted by a storm of pollen.
Rabid Animals
According to the Department of Environmental Conservation, "raccoons are among the most widespread mammals in New York State...Raccoon rabies reached New York in 1990 and has become widespread. Rabies is a viral disease with symptoms similar to distemper. Rabid raccoons may behave aggressively, salivate heavily, or have paralyzed hind legs. Rabies can be transmitted to humans and other animals by the bite of an infected animal. If you suspect a raccoon is rabid, avoid or destroy the animal and contact local health officials."
My mother's family had a pet raccoon for a few months. They found it abandoned as a baby and raised it to be a comfortable, domestic pet (named "Smoky"). Then one day it escaped the house and hopefully learned to forage and enjoyed a life of freedom.
All that's to say: If you see a raccoon wandering about in the daytime, that creature has rabies, and you need to stay away from it.
▲"Scary Lucy"
For a brief, shining moment in 2016, western N.Y. held the national spotlight—because of a hideously bad statue of beloved comedic icon Lucille Ball. Dubbed "Scary Lucy" by the Internet, the Celoron statue was soon replaced with a more masterful and flattering version.
But because we can't have nice things for long, somebody recently vandalized the statue with blue paint on Lucy's eyes and chest. And because we have so little in life to look forward to, we're deeply upset. According to my hometown's barely literate newspaper, The Post Journal,the culprit was actually a 42-year-old local man who must've been crying out for help. Det. Kevin Pierce of the Elliott Police Department said, "This type of crime just doesn't make sense to us. Vandalism of this nature is usually something a young child or teenager would do, but to have an adult do something like this just baffles me. The village of Celoron puts a lot of hard work into the maintenance of the park, and people from all over the world come to visit the Lucy statues. We cannot tolerate this kind of behavior."
Crime Rate
Speaking of vandalism, New York State's 10 most dangerous cities in 2019 are all technically "upstate." From Albany up to Niagara Falls and Watertown, rates of property crimes and violence are the highest in the area, most likely due to a combination of economic hardship and living in a state of agitation from hating deer and allergies.
To stay safe, don't assume that the picturesque settings are a peaceful throwback to the days when you didn't have to lock your doors. Simply listen to your protective instincts, especially at night, and stay aware of your surroundings.
▲Hauntings
If you're a fan of the paranormal, this is mostly a perk. The rural towns, deserted roads, old campsites, abandoned farms, and centuries old hotels are fun destinations to find spooky thrills. But for those moments when you're tired and just want to drive to the nearest hotel, it can be deeply unsettling to drive down a road that seems straight out of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, especially if you're alone.
▲Skunks
They're the size of cats, prefer to live in human residential areas, will eat literally anything, and they're cowards. Because they're cowards, they'll spray your pet (or you) whenever you take one by surprise. The Department of Environmental Conservation has no good solutions for this, saying, "This happens in early fall because skunks search for cubby holes to spend the winter. Damaged building foundations and spaces underneath porches serve this purpose well. A free roaming dog often aggravates the situation by chasing the prowling skunk. The resultant 'dog training lesson' can offend a whole neighborhood. The remedy is to close or screen all holes and crawl spaces, and to keep dogs confined." Skunks are a scourge. Avoid skunks.
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